First year of college

During my senior year of high school I was excited. The
thought of having so much freedom ran through my mind. I wanted
to attend Southern Illinois, Northern Illinois,
University of Illinois, or Lincoln University. I do not know why out of all the colleges I chose Lincoln University. Once I got accepted I was not thinking about anything besides getting away from home, and being on my own. I did not like the fact that I had a curfew, and had to ask if I can do anything or go anywhere. I guess what I was trying to do was grow up to fast. My mom used say to me, “Don’t rush to get old.” Enjoy being young while you can, because the responsibility of being an adult is not easy.

May 2005 came around which was the month graduated in. I went the whole summer preparing for college. I had to attend a freshman orientation at Lincoln University in July of 2005. August came around it was time for me to get ready to set sail to college. What a journey it was. Ever since I attended this college I have become so stressed.

I did not realize that being away from home would get to me
in such a negative way. What I mean is I am very spoiled so I am
used to having my way. I get down here, and I do not want to eat
the cafeteria food. I want to go out to eat everyday which I did. That left me with no money so I would cry to mom and tell her I do not have any more money because I spent it all on food. That is when my stress begins. I really like the fact of having freedom to do what ever I wanted, but I found myself still coming in early like I did when I was back at home. I did not attend too many parties because I felt I came down here to get an education not to be the person to attend all the parties, and get drunk every night.

Another thing that made me so stressed, I was not familiar with
the area. I came from a really big city Chicago IL. It is very
busy and fast there. I had a real big transformation when I came
from Chicago to Jefferson City, Missouri. Jefferson City is a
very slow town. Everything seems like it moves in slow motion.
The people walk slow, drive slow, just move real slow. I am used
to driving real fast, just moving fast. I love to eat. I did not
realize they did not have that many places to eat out here. I
love to shop. The malls are horrible out here. I know I did not
come out here to shop and eat, but in my spare time something has to excite me. I found myself staying in my dorm room everyday my first semester of college. There was nothing to do and I did not associate with anybody because I felt most of these people around here were negative. I say this because I would always see people smoking, drinking, engaging in sexual activity in public, and fighting. When I try to go the library everybody is on face book. I felt that most of the student body came here just to party and get a refund check. I do not like to be around negative people. I do not like the fact that I have a roommate. I need my own space. Going through all of this made me want to go back home. During all this stress I had built up inside I still managed to do well. Even though I was aware with the fact that stress can kill you, it can make you loose weight, and it can also make you not do very well in school if you let it get the best of you.

Coming into college the class work and lectures are very
different from high school. In the beginning the work was very
stressful for me it caused me to loose focus. I could not think
straight. I did not like some of my professors because I felt
they were not connecting with me or the students. That became
real frustrating for me because I felt that I was wasting my
money coming here. The cost of college is outrageous, but luckily we have financial assistance. I used to tell my mom these professors are dumb all they do is lecture; there is no type of connections with the students. Another thing that used to make me real upset was students will walk into class late. That is very disruptive, and it shows no respect for themselves or the students, and professor. When students come in late it causes the professor to stop what they are doing because of interruption. I guess me being very spoiled caused a lot of things to get to me and that made me stressed.

The biggest factor of my stress is having a boyfriend back
at home. I must say 75% of my stress came from having a
boyfriend. It is real complicated because you argue a lot. My
boyfriend and I argued everyday over things that did not seem
important at all. He did not want me to do anything or go
anywhere. He wanted me to stay on the phone with him all night
even though I had classes early in the morning. I lost an extreme amount of focus because of him. I would over sleep sometimes, and miss class because he would make me stay on the phone with him. I had to deal with him thinking I was cheating on him. He did not want me to go out ever. He wanted me to always stay in my room. Sometimes he would make me feel so bad I could not attend any classes in a whole day. I then came to my senses and realize I need to let him go. If he can not support the fact that I am trying to handle my responsibilities like a woman is suppose to then he can try to not let the door hit him on his way out. I was always an A student. That was not about to change just because I came to college. I had to let go of that stress, and I did. Eventually I ended up getting two jobs down in Jefferson City. I worked at Schulte’s Fresh Foods a grocery store, and Tuesday morning, a craft store. I must say it was struggle but it kept me out of this room and my mind off my boyfriend, and just being out in Jefferson City period. My stressed eased up a little bit until Financial Aid decides to come to me two weeks before school is out and tell me they canceled my loaned. I WAS A MAD BLACK WOMAN. These people threatened to drop my classes. Oh this was not good at all. My stress started all over again. I definitely could not focus on any classes because I was to busy trying to make sure my classes did not get dropped. I was beginning to think college was not for me.

Everything ended up going well in the end. I calmed down.
Took my finals, and actually did good like I thought I would. I
got all A’s my final GPA for Spring 2006 was a 4.0. I must say I
struggled my first year in college. I know one thing I would
never let stress get the best of me again. Stress can lead you to failure instead of success.